5 WAYS TO BUILD CONFIDENCE THAT LASTS!



“Have Confidence” is one of the biggest and best pieces of advice that you will receive in life because with confidence you feel like you can do anything.

You feel like you can get that promotion you want, start that business you’ve been thinking about, walk up to the person you had your eye on and ask them on a date, and achieve the level of fitness that you set for yourself.

But what do you do if you never had confidence, or you had confidence once, but because of a bad relationship, business failure, or something else you been through, you lost it? What do you do then?

If you are reading this right now, chances are you want to eliminate the self-doubt, and gain a little (or a lot) more confidence and certainty about yourself.

And that is what I do. As a Confidence and Mindset Coach I specialize in helping people just like you create positive habits, stop negative self-talk, and build real confidence that lasts.

In this short eBook I have given you 5 simple yet POWERFUL exercises. Some of the same exercises that my clients pay top dollar for that they have found helped them build their unstoppable confidence. I am giving you this for free because I want the best for you. I want you to be happy and confident in who you are and what you do.

If you would like more information on my, Building Real and Lasting Confidence Coaching Package, then go to www.iamempoweredman.com and click on Empowerment Coaching.

Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.”

Norman Vincent Peale


Stop Comparing

Most Coaches will tell you, “Stop comparing yourself with other people.” But the problem with that advice is it is automatically setting you up for failure because we are organically designed by nature to compare ourselves to other people.

You see, it’s not the act of comparing yourself to others that is the problem, it’s in how often you do it and how you do it.

There are healthy ways to make comparisons and unhealthy ways. And if you do it in unhealthy ways your zest for life gets strangled, your confidence dwindles down to nothing, and your self-esteem just erodes away.

When done in healthy ways you can become motivated, empowered, and increase your level of confidence.

Unhealthy ways of comparison; Comparing your negative trait to someone else’s positive trait. This is “Comparison Error” and only creates negative emotions.

For example: If you believe you have a boring social life compared to others, a Comparison Error would be to compare yourself to someone who is the most social person you know.

For most people this will only create feelings of inadequacy and further distance them from becoming social.

Instead, try comparing “down.” Comparing “down” means to compare yourself to someone that is not on the same level of you. So, for instance, compare yourself to someone who does not go out at all. This will arouse feelings of empowerment, knowing that you do have a social life and like to get out and mingle once in a while.

Do not pick the most successful, or the best looking, or the most charismatic person to compare yourself too.

Instead write down a list of your positive traits and what you like about yourself, or what others like about you. Then choose successful, good looking, or charismatic people with those same traits and become aware that you possess the same traits they possess. After you do this smile and enjoy the feeling of sharing those traits with those people.

This will raise your level of confidence because you will start to see the positive and admirable qualities you possess, possessed by others you admire. And if you admire them then there is a good chance others admire you and your qualities also.

And most importantly do not constantly compare yourself to others. A little is healthy if done correctly. It will create positive feelings and motivation. But excessively comparison will only cause negative feelings and outcomes.

So, when you find yourself constantly comparing yourself to someone else, whether it is a friend, celebrity, entrepreneur, or someone on Facebook, quickly say the word “STOP” out loud in your head. This will interrupt the flow of information passed along your neurological pathways instantly changing your thought pattern. When you do this, you will gain back control of your mind and thoughts.

Be Your Authentic Self

To be your true authentic self you must first know who that is. So many people wished they looked like someone else, or had the money someone else had, or vacationed where someone else did, that they do not truly know what they like or who they are.

I mean, what if the person you wanted to look like must be on the strictest diet known to man and could never enjoy the deliciousness of a mouthwatering warm slice of homemade apple pie. That wouldn’t be fun now would it?

Or the person who had the money you wish you had was because they work 60-80 hours a week and their family life was in turmoil and on the brink of divorce because it was constantly neglected. Doesn’t seem worth it does it?

And what if the vacation they went on turned out to be a nightmare. The all-inclusive hotel they stayed at looked great but outside of that was poverty and just heartbreaking to look at. And the local cops were corrupt and robbed you? It happened to me in Mexico!

What I want you to do is get to know who you genuinely are, and what you genuinely like, and what you genuinely want in life. Then like a well-nourished flower you will sprout and bloom with radiant confidence that others will admire.


I want you to write down:

Your favorite vacation location and why.

Your favorite food and why.

What qualities you like about your friends and why.

What your passions and hobbies are.

What you want your future to look like and why.

What you like about yourself and why? And if you cannot think of things you like about yourself write down things others like about you.

Once you complete this, and no, you don’t have to do it all in one sitting, you will begin to truly and genuinely get to know the real you, not what others want for you or want you to be.

By doing this you will create the foundation for your confidence and begin to see it grow.


Be Grateful

Have an attitude of gratitude. Gratitude is one of the biggest and best resources we have at our disposal that can build our self-confidence.

I have a gratitude journal that I write in daily, and the top life coaches in the business will tell you that daily gratitude journaling will increase your self-confidence, create positive feelings, and give you a better feeling for life all around.

Think about it, if you are not happy with what you currently have, why should you be given more? There is an abundance of all things good in this world, but if you are not happy with what you have now then you will not be happy with what you gain tomorrow.

Now of course we want to have more and achieve more, that is human nature. It is in our DNA, but we must first have a sound foundation that we are happy in the here and now. If we are happy with the here and now and with what we have here and now, then when we gain more, we will be happy then too.

If you are not happy with what you have and where are you will still feel empty inside when you gain more. This is why you see so many wealthy people who look like they have it all, look and act miserable. They were not happy to begin with.


I want you to write down on a random piece of paper or in a journal, preferably a journal 15 things:

5 Things You Are Grateful For About Yourself: you made it through the day, you made up the bed, you closed a deal at work, you got a workout in, etc.

5 Things You Are Grateful For Around You: your bed, your house, your car, your comfy clothes, your gym membership, your friends, etc.

5 People You Are Grateful For: your mom or dad, your siblings, your best friend, your co-worker, you boss, your teacher, etc.

I want you to write down 15 things a day you are grateful for. You can do this in the morning when you get up or at night before you go to bed but do it daily and you will see your life change.

Hit The Gym

What if sweating your butt of at the gym and burning all those calories wasn’t only for seeing those numbers decrease on the scale but, instead, what if it was for increasing your self-confidence?

According to a CBT, Cognitive Behavior Therapy, center in London, when you feel better physically, you feel better mentally.

And when you feel better mentally you want to go and explore new places and meet new people. You feel happy, calm, and positive. This is because of the increase of endorphins and serotonin (the happy drug) in your brain.

Here are 5 things that hitting the gym can do for you:


1. Makes You Stronger. When you hit the gym regularly you will begin to notice that things that were once heavy to life are no longer that heavy. When you exercise you get almost immediate results which will increase your level of confidence because it shows you what you can do when you set your mind to do something. Along with a stronger healthier body you get a bonus. You will also get a stronger health report, i.e. lower blood pressure and cholesterol.


2. Makes You Smarter. You see when you exercise you are feeding your brain valuable oxygen and nutrients that improve cognitive function. You will notice that after exercising you will have a stronger sense of focus and feel more alert. And with improved mental function you can accomplish more tasks with less stress, which in turn will raise your level of self-confidence.


3. Reduces Stress. Stress seems like a constant river flowing to everyone in today’s modern times. Conference calls, deadlines, work, family, friends, money, worries and the list goes on and on. The good news is exercise in almost any form can help to reduce your level of stress we experience. Exercising is like meditation in motion. When you exercise you seem to forget about everything else going on in your life and at the same time releasing the pent up frustration you have bottled up inside, that you may or may not even be aware of.


4. Improves Your Self-Image. Looking better makes you feel better. When we aren’t happy with the way we look we can develop image issues. Regular exercise will begin to sculpt your body by toning up areas and losing fat in others that in turns increases your confidence.


5. Reduces Anxiety and Depression. American Physiological Association reports that when you exercise consistently you reduce long-term feelings of anxiety and depression. Globally 264 million people suffer from depression and 19 million American alone suffer from anxiety. Consistent and regular exercise will help decrease those numbers and when you are not feeling depressed or anxious then you will in turn feel happier and more confident.

Act Confident

I’m sure you have heard the phrase, “fake it till you make it.” Well this phrase that is usually applied to success applies to confidence also and let me explain why. You see, the mind and body work together as one.

And the reason that is so powerful is because you can think negative thoughts and before you know it, you will begin feeling negative and your physiology will be that of a negative person, such as shoulders slumped down and slightly forward, breathing shallow, with a blah look on your face.

And if you think positive exciting thoughts you will begin to feel positive and excited and your physiology will be that of a positive and excited person, such as, head upright, shoulders back, breathing deep, etc. (the physiology of someone confident)

So, when I say act confident, I want you to do two things for me.

1. Think positive and confident thoughts. For example, have the thoughts of you being confident, walking confident, talking confident, acing confident, looking others in their eyes when you speak to them. What does that look like to you? How does that make you feel? Tell yourself 5 times in a row, “I am confident.”


2. Now I want you to have confident physiology. I want you to actually stand and walk confidently. I want you to carry yourself confidently and talk confidently. It may seem a little weird at first and that is perfectly okay and normal. The more you do it the easier it will become and the more your confidence will grow.

Building confidence takes time and effort. But it is worth every step.

And if you would like more information on my Confidence Coaching Package go to www.IamEmpoweredMan.com and click on Empowerment Coaching.

I hope you enjoyed reading this short eBook and gained confidence along the way. I would love for you to email me and tell me about your journey to confidence and self-empowerment using these 5 exercises. Email me at strongerthanfailure@gmail.com

Thank you and God Bless,

You are Stronger Than Failure,

Danny Cole